Take them out after 1 year

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				THE
Column Archive				VIRGINIA GAZETTE
				WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA
Take them out after 1 year				December 28, 2005

Now that the humbuggery and hoopla of Christmas are over, it’s time to reflect on mayhem, malevolence and mischief of the year that’s about to end and resolve to improve our performance scores in 2006.

Since most of the intellectual corruption and unsavory silliness to which we’re subjected derive from the ineptitude and utter stupidity of the pettifogging politicians we elect to public office, I suggest that we resolve to emulate the Athenians and introduce what will not necessarily be an anodyne solution to all our problems. But it will work, and we the people can once again take charge of our affairs.

The Athenians realized that power corrupts and that all politicians are potential blackguards. To counter this, they established a court of the people, called the Heliaea, to audit and scrutinize the acts and decisions of magistrates when they left office. Those found guilty of collusion, bribery, embezzlement, treason or embarrassingly stupid decisions harmful to the state were severely fined, if not sent to the poky, and told to butt out of public life forever more. To make sure that one group, family or individual didn’t hold the same office in perpetuity, they limited the terms of their magistrates to one year. Incumbency was forbidden.

Imagine what would happen if on the national level (as well as in each locality and state) a court of the people were established to pass judgment on all the records, activities and decisions of our various magistrates when they left office. I suspect that 99% of them would wind up in the clink. Two Bushes, a Cheney, a Clinton and that creepy guy who introduced the loopy legislation that would have outlawed droopy drawers in Virginia would be leading the parade.

Not far behind would be Rep. Jo Ann Davis (R-1^st), who insists on embarrassing her constituents by sponsoring supremely kinky legislation. Davis, who still believes that the tooth fairy will put Iraqi WMD under out pillows some day, is the new chair of the House Intelligence subcommittee. Like one pea in the pod probing another, Davis will now purport to investigate President Bush’s covert approval of spying on American citizens.

But it was more recently that she outdid herself by proposing that the House of Representatives “recognizes the importance of the symbols and traditions of Christmas, strongly disapproves of attempts to ban references to Christmas and expresses support for the use of these symbols and traditions.”

Insisting that this legislation was “just burning inside me,” Davis evinced such passionate paranoia about all this that Rev. Barry Lynn, the director of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, called it the “silliest bill ever presented to the United States Congress.”

I suspect that any citizens’ court judging Davis would find that her marbles had gone south and condemn her to stand next year in front of the Williamsburg Target store between a Christmas tree and a nativity set, wishing every passerby “Happy Holidays.”

To discover that Davis’ fears about the dissolution of Christmas are totally unfounded, one need look only at the support she’s getting from the holiday harpies in James City. They have decided that not only Christmas is a holiday, but that Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve Eve and the day after Christmas are days worthy of denying the public access to county services. Evidently we have four holidays in a row. In addition, the Community Center, which is normally open seven days a week, closes not only on Christmas but on Dec. 24 as well.

Since when is Christmas Eve a holiday? Or Christmas Eve Eve? Stores are open. The Post Office is open. Why are county offices and the rec center closed?

For whatever reason, James City and its Parks and Recreation Department have become diversophobes of the worst sort. Ignoring the strictures of the First Amendment relative to the collusion of government and religion, they have decided that they will ally themselves with and support only Christian holidays by closing the rec center on Christmas Eve, Christmas and Easter. The holidays of no other religion are so honored.

For this, any citizens’ court worth its salt would require that, under the guidance of the Religion Department at William & Mary, all those in the county administration, and specifically in Parks & Rec, who are responsible for singling out Christianity as our government-sponsored religion be required to write on the blackboard 500 times the holidays of all the religions represented in Virginia.

They then should agree either to close all county facilities on all these holidays or close them on none. Only then will they be in conformity with the First Amendment to the Constitution.

Finally, let us reduce the terms of those serving on the Planning Commission and the Board of Supervisors to one year and then send them off to work for the Massies or the Brown Corporation. One need only read the interview in last Wednesday’s Gazette with supervisor Bruce Goodson to know that long-range planning relative to the cumulative effect of development in James City is nothing but a garbled myth.

The Athenians had it right. Give people power for more than a year and they will make hash of it. The damage they can manufacture in two years is bad enough. Grant them four or eight years, and their mischief, miscalculations and abuse of power will wreak havoc of biblical proportions.