E Pluribus bummed

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				THE
Column Archive				VIRGINIA GAZETTE
				WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA
E Pluribus bummed				November 28, 2007

Many Democrats are cooing about how Virginia is turning politically purple, but you wouldn’t have surmised that from the results of the elections around here earlier in the month. The mighty Republican mower cut the Democratic grass to within an inch of its life in most races

Jim Kennedy mowed under Andy Bradshaw and crowed that his newly elected triangle of Republicans will now take over the James City County board of supervisors. They’ll clean the clocks of some county staff and make hash of delay-ridden development regulations. The new stormwater tax that was so obsequiously heralded on our last property tax bills will probably go down the drain.

As my sauna buddy Larry said, “They’re killing us with property tax hikes. We pay for our water. Now they want to tax the rain.” Larry, a union Democrat, voted Republican.

We can hope only that Kennedy & Co. keep their word, give us an open and honest discussion about growth and its ramifications and don’t devolve into right-wing nuttery.

In one of the more compelling races, Republican Brenda Pogge defeated and deflated the hapless Democrat, Troy Farlow, for a seat in the 96^th House.

The Rappsteritic Pogge will undoubtedly carry on in the tradition of her predecessor and provide the magneto-like intellectual sparks with which Melanie Rapp so frequently cranked the legislative battery in the Richmond House. With delegates like the Pogger in the House, one had to give thanks last Thursday that the Senate is now in Democratic hands.

On the other hand, you have to give Pogge credit for taking advantage of another Democratic bungle stumble in their choice of candidates. I have no idea what the Democratic vetting process consists of, but it seems to me that, if some blogger could come up with the goods on Farlow, the Democrats might have seen the milk curdling before they drank it.

Conversely, you have to wonder why the Republicans couldn’t come up with someone to run against Democrat Rip Van Barlow, who once again slept his way to victory. Thus the man from Sleepy Hollow will continue to snoozily represent the good people of Williamsburg for another two years in the House of Delegates.

Also running unopposed was the unflappable Sen. Tommy Norment. While voters punished the sober Farlow for failing to turn in his father when he ran a red light and careened into another vehicle, they overlooked the boozy DUI peccadilloes of Norment and sent him back to the Senate without a peep. Or a Democratic alternative.

I must admit that I didn’t vote for the now dormant Norment, whose former muscle in the Senate has quickly turned to flab as a result of the Democratic takeover. As promised, I wrote in Rusty Carter’s name. To my great dismay, Carter ran a very weak campaign, claiming that he had no interest in taking down signs after the election. This is not what you would call a winning attitude.

Perhaps the most interesting contest of the year was for Williamsburg’s representatives on the regional Dirt Board (also known as the Colonial Soil and Water Conservation District Board). Since only one person was running for two slots on Dirt, the voters were left to their own devices and had to write in their second choice.

After the original vote count, it was announced that Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert was tied with two William & Mary students for the post. Each had three votes.

Then came the news that Colbert had received only two votes for Dirt and another vote for some other unnamed office. So they put the names of the two students into a hat and drew that of Matt Beato. Beato said he would be delighted to take a seat on Dirt, but that this was a helluva way to conduct an election.

Colbert, a liberal Democrat who poses on his show as a right-wing conservative gone haywire, has not been heard from due to the writers’ strike. I suspect that, at the very least, he will rightfully demand a recount when he again appears. It may be the only election he wins.

If you thought that all this election hoopla was over and you could now devote yourself to the holiday known as Primeoutletsmas (formerly Christmas), think again. Before you know it, political signs will again be littering the highway, and you’ll be marching to the polls on Dec. 11 to vote for someone to fill the term of Rep. Jo Ann Davis. Purple may once again revert to red in this contest.

As for Davis, I shall miss her. She was a formidable opponent, and while several of my columns were critical of the political stances she took, her correspondence with me was always civil and well-reasoned. I never had any doubt about her sincerity. As Catullus so succinctly put it when he visited the tomb of his brother, “Ave atque vale.” Hail and farewell.