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A few days ago a woman in the
Ewell Station parking lot stood eyeing a Virginia commemorative license plate
that read: “1607 Four Hundred
Years.” “Four hundred years of what?”
she asked as I passed by. So much for Let’s face it. We’re spending
millions of dollars and entirely too much energy on a place that few people
outside of Eastern Virginia ever heard of, much less care about. Bottom line
is that we’re going to whack ourselves out of joint for a whole year over a
gaggle of English aristocrats who thought that establishing a colony in a
malarial, disease-ridden swamp among hostile Indians was about as good as it
gets. Why did they come? They came
because some loose-screwed intellectuals in London formed what was called the
Virginia Company of London and somehow got their half-witted (“I rule by
divine right”) king, James I, to give them a charter in 1606. The driving
force behind this lunacy was partly exploratory, but mostly a desire on
James’ part to convert In December 1606, then, off
sailed Captain Christopher Newport with a band of 105 uppercrust Englishmen
who eventually found their land of dreams on the swampy shores of the But before they could do much
proselytizing, the enervating Nor had they brought any women.
The first two didn’t arrive until 1608. What happened to them as they bustled
about among what was left of 105 men is probably best left unprobed. John Smith brought some sanity to the whole
process in 1608, when he became Head Crusader. Unfortunately, he was injured
by burning gun powder and immediately left for But in 1613 John Rolfe saved
the day by introducing the smoking weed as a cash crop, and tobacco became
even more revered than Anglicanism in They puttered around in Thus for a whole year or more
we shall celebrate the fact that a bunch of British buffoons who knew nothing
of what they were doing colonized a swamp for the sake of Christianizing
Indians. In order to save their sorry sortie, they planted tobacco in virgin
soil, unleashed the smoking habit and, to top it all off, brought the first
slaves to Lovely. And this is the stuff that
we’re advertising across the land for the sake of a few measly tourist
bucks? For shame. Four hundred years
of what, indeed. Better that we spend our moolah to keep this sordid story as
much under wraps as Mary Magdalene’s tomb.
On May 25, Sam Roberts of the
New York Times wrote an article advocating the suppression of the What resulted from According to As someone who has lived in In the end, perhaps we should
all divert our precious gas money from the 1607 Swamp Thing and take a ride
up the |
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lewleadbeater.com Copyright 2002 All Rights Reserved email: LWL@lewleadbeater.com |
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