Zen at the rec center

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				THE
Column Archive				VIRGINIA GAZETTE
				WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA
Zen at the rec center				June 25, 2003

A few years ago, some well-intentioned, politically-correct administrators decided to change the name of the Williamsburg-James City Recreation Center to the Community Center. During the last expansion of the center, meeting rooms were added, and a day care operation, among other niceties, is now up and running. Despite all that, however, the center is still one that caters primarily to recreation. Hence, despite all efforts to the contrary, most patrons refer to the place as simply the rec center.

On the other hand, there is a sense of camaraderie and community which pervades the center, and those who use it regularly are indeed a dedicated, though at times strange, bunch.

On weekdays, the center opens at 6 a.m., and, believe it or not, there is always a rather psychotic gaggle of people waiting to get in at that early hour. Members of this group, known as the Zombies de Sade, arise at 4:30 in order to get to the center at 6 and wreak havoc on their bodies for an hour or so. Out by 7, these people, like Frankenstein’s monster, stagger off to their respective jobs, where, bleary-eyed, they snooze away the day so that they can get up at 4:30 the next morning and do it all over again.

After the Zombies leave, the more normal patrons begin to filter in, and they generally fall into two categories: the Narcissistic Body Bruisers and the Metaphysical Mind Miners.

The Body Bruisers, whose primary recreational goal is to look like Apollo or Britney Spears, all head for the section of the center called “upstairs.” There some lift weights until their faces turn an eerie shade of red, while others row imaginary boats, ride bicycles or climb stairs that go absolutely nowhere.

“Upstairs,” then, is just another metaphor for a stationary journey into one of Dante’s more sadistic circles of Hell. It’s a mystical mélange of egocentrism and twisted body torture that only a running track saves from being utterly and abysmally satanic. It’s also the place where the inmates wear little orange wristbands, undoubtedly indicating that they may be carted off to the morgue at any minute.

We might also note in passing that the upstairs people are heavily into velcro, tattoos, body piercing, and admiring themselves in mirrors. For the Bruisers, appearance wins over reality every time.

The Mind Miners, on the other hand, head immediately for the pool. There, completely eschewing bodily torture, they swim their laps while they contemplate Plato’s theory of aesthetics or Aristotle’s metaphysics. Some construct scholarly physics papers under water, while others debate with themselves the vagaries of deconstructionism and post-modernist literature. Still others work on their stock portfolios, and some even compose music.

Their swim completed, the Mind Miners usually head for the whirlpool and, eventually, the sauna, where important political and social issues of the day are resolved. At times, Body Bruisers mistakenly blunder into the sauna, but their conversation, usually limited to Sosa’s corked bat or babes on the track, is quickly muted by more uplifting discussions concerning the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden or the rampant rise of Socialism in Virginia.

Unfortunately, all that is about to come to an end. As reported in the June 14 Gazette, the pool will be closed for three weeks, beginning August 1, for extensive renovations. Finally convinced that you can’t stick long metal ladders in a pool filled with 200,000 gallons of water to change light fixtures without fear of electrocution, the powers that be will install more accessible lights around the perimeter of the pool.

There are, however, other concerns that should be addressed. Contrary to director Phil Mease’s contention that the air filtration system works well, the fact is that it could be improved. Workers complain periodically of strong chlorine smells that fans usually aimed at the lifeguard’s stand or ceiling simply can’t disperse.

Nor is the pool temperature kept at 84 degrees, as he said. In fact, the pool temperature varies widely from one day to the next, leaving the impression that temperature constancy is out of the question. If that’s the case, some sort of fix should be added to the renovation agenda.

Furthermore, the idea that swimmers can use the county’s outdoor pools to swim laps while the rec center is closed is overly sanguine. These pools now have no lap lanes, and, even if they did, they would be overwhelmed by the hordes of youngsters who fill the pools during the summer. Better to pro-rate the fees of those who use only the pool at the rec center than promise similar facilities in the outdoor pools.

Other suggestions include keeping spare whirlpool parts on hand to avoid long shutdowns. And at least one lifeguard should be assigned to the upper part of the pool when summer camp kids are in the lower end. As it is now, lap swimmers are left to their own devices and could, while deeply contemplating the existentialism of Heidegger, disappear from view without any lifeguard ever noticing it.

On the whole, however, the rec center is one of the best deals in town. Just don’t go upstairs. The people up there are the spawn of Beelzebub.